Helpful Hints to Raising a Differently Abled Child
Helpful Hints to Raising a Differently Abled Child
Suzanne DeRemer is not only a poet, but also the adoptive mother of this very special young man with a duel diagnosis of Down syndrome and Autistic spectrum disorder. Adopting her son meant embracing the miracle of a child who needed a home. She wrote a poem, "A Child's Plea" to help foster children find homes, and this began her journey of wanting to adopt a child.
My son has brought about a rising thunder within me. This means I feel destined to help by raising awareness and rising above discrimination, labels, and public and professional bias. All parents with disabled children need to rise and create a little thunder every now and then. A prime example of this would be at IEP meetings when our children need a voice to speak for them.
Raising a child with such challenges means that everything can be altered or changed. If we have plans to go to a movie, but my son can't handle the atmosphere then we change the plan. I have been told I have the patience of a saint, but I feel I think about how my child is feeling. The world can be a scary and overwhelming place when a child has sensory issues. Sensory issues may mean places are too noisy or chaotic for my child. His ears can be sensitive and he becomes overwhelmed and full of anxiety in some situations. I have learned to be adaptable and to not sweat the small stuff. Although I have a real hard time finding a single man who can handle our life. It takes a huge amount of patience and compassion to walk in my shoes every day.
Stress is a part of everyone's life at some point, but raising a child with such needs can be quite stressful for parents. Learning to cope is essential to sanity. Finding what works for your child as a reinforcement is like winning the lottery. You find that one motivating thing, and you can work through most situations. It can be a toy, a reward, an electronic device, a sensory item, and sometimes it can be as simple as a pencil or shoe string.
Suzanne DeRemer is not only a poet, but also the adoptive mother of this very special young man with a duel diagnosis of Down syndrome and Autistic spectrum disorder. Adopting her son meant embracing the miracle of a child who needed a home. She wrote a poem, "A Child's Plea" to help foster children find homes, and this began her journey of wanting to adopt a child.
My son has brought about a rising thunder within me. This means I feel destined to help by raising awareness and rising above discrimination, labels, and public and professional bias. All parents with disabled children need to rise and create a little thunder every now and then. A prime example of this would be at IEP meetings when our children need a voice to speak for them.
Raising a child with such challenges means that everything can be altered or changed. If we have plans to go to a movie, but my son can't handle the atmosphere then we change the plan. I have been told I have the patience of a saint, but I feel I think about how my child is feeling. The world can be a scary and overwhelming place when a child has sensory issues. Sensory issues may mean places are too noisy or chaotic for my child. His ears can be sensitive and he becomes overwhelmed and full of anxiety in some situations. I have learned to be adaptable and to not sweat the small stuff. Although I have a real hard time finding a single man who can handle our life. It takes a huge amount of patience and compassion to walk in my shoes every day.
Stress is a part of everyone's life at some point, but raising a child with such needs can be quite stressful for parents. Learning to cope is essential to sanity. Finding what works for your child as a reinforcement is like winning the lottery. You find that one motivating thing, and you can work through most situations. It can be a toy, a reward, an electronic device, a sensory item, and sometimes it can be as simple as a pencil or shoe string.
- TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. I have learned ways to cope with stress, but in order to take care of my son I realized how important taking care of myself is. If my health is failing, I am of no help to my son. Taking care of myself is allowing myself time to relax, go for a walk, or stop and smell the flowers. I actually do love going to a florist shop to smell all the fragrant flowers. I also love visiting candle shops. A hot bubble bath and candles can make a world of difference to unstress from a chaotic day.
- HAVE A BACK UP PLAN. I always give my son the opportunity to try something new. He has surprised me and actually enjoyed things I thought might be too overwhelming for him. When the event causes him too much anxiety or stress, I have a back up plan. I do not feel bad about having to excuse myself from a party or family event when I know my son cannot handle the event of the day.
- REWARD CHARTS GO A LONG WAY. Find a system that works for your child. Every child is unique and what works for one may not work for another. I have found that reward charts that my son can physically see have helped greatly. First we do this and then we get that! Do it one step at a time. First and then have been words I have used that have gotten us through some really stubborn times. Visual charts are something they can see now, and the wait is not long. Keep in mind to reward good behavior as it reinforces what you want to be happening. Ignore behaviors you do not want to see repeated. Sometimes you have to explain this to your family and friends so they understand how important it is to ignore behaviors that are not harming others. Raising a child can be a team effort. The more people you have working to change behaviors for the better, the more manageable life can be.
- BELIEVE YOUR CHILD WILL ACHIEVE. Many people do not give our kids a chance to learn outside the box they created for them. Yet our kids are like sponges and can surprise us. Whether your child is verbal or not, show them videos on the space station, or whatever you want them to be exposed to. If your child loves music, expose them to various genres. I worked with adults who only knew how to spell their first names. Allow your child to learn their last name, and don't limit their potential. My son amazed me telling me about epidermis, dermis, and the fatty layer of skin after finding a book lying around the house that belonged to an older sibling. He wanted to read it, and he shocked me with his memory. It took him 18 months to walk, but the point is he learned to walk eventually. When your child achieves, throw a happy dance party. Make a big deal out of every accomplishment. Never give up, and focus on the abilities of your child.
- ENJOY THE JOURNEY. Too often we are exhausted, and trying twice as hard to help our children become the best they possibly can. We can overextend ourselves, and forget that this is a wonderful journey we are on with our child. Make time to count your blessings a long the way. Find others who understand your journey to be a part of the joys and successes, but more importantly to be there when you have a rough day. Remember you are not alone, not unless you choose to be. There are many parents with differently abled children and finding a support group can be a marvelous experience.
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